While it is normal human behavior to adapt our behaviors to certain situations, sometimes we can become so caught up in what people think of us that we literally "lose ourselves."
We do what we think is right, not because we think that it is right, but that others do. It's like we haven't grown out of our teenage years of peer pressure. Today, we might not smoke to keep in with the "in-crowd" but we still conform in numerous ways and worse, we worry. We constantly worry about what other people are thinking about us. We find our lives are governed by what we imagine other people believe about us. And so we find ourselves with a huge raft of fears: Fear of being rejected, fear of being thought a failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of being inferior to others, fear of being "dumb." This is just the tip of the iceberg. First, we need to recognize that most of the people we know don't really think about us much at all. Like the old sayings, they really are too busy thinking about themselves and their own lives to be making conclusions about ours. In fact, many of them are doing just what the chronic worrier does: Worrying about what others are thinking about them!
Questions like these go both ways. Yes, in the sense that in our society, we simply must care what others think about us, if we want to succeed and not get thrown in the loony bin. If we absolutely didn't care, I'd hate to think about things like the general sense of people's hygiene.
I don't think that you should care about what others think on a more intrinsic level. Whether you are not fit enough, not pretty enough, don't have enough things, etc. Obsessing over these things will get you no where but deep into self-loathing. As my old sponsor used to say: "what other people think about you is none of your business."
To some degree and with some people, those who we like, love and respect the most. You're not going to have rosy thoughts from everybody, so don't worry about it. Be yourself and if you have 'flaws', work on them, but don't do a total remake. If you have to do a total remake, then you're most likely the type of person who could care less about what other people thought of them, in the first place.
When we're young that is very important because we want to be respected, liked, admired and are thinned skinned. At 73 now, my attitude has changed ever so slightly, I now say "Who cares, to Hell with them all."
No, you shouldn't care about what others think of you, at least not as a young person. Just be you, and you'll find out who your real friends are, if they didn't abandon you like people who thought you were different and if others sought you out, realizing you have qualities and abilities and a lot in common.
Look let me tell you one thing once you start getting worried you get obsessed you try to change A LOT. So why stress? You are perfect just the way you are. Unless you want to change something but don't change something for SOMEONE ELSE if not they think they rule your life, and that just sucks doesn't it?
Yes, to some extent we have to, but we shouldn't become obsessive. If possible it helps if our employers and fellow employees like us. I think we also want to maintain good relationships with friends and relatives.
I do care to a point. I want people to see me as I am. A hard working decent person but if it comes to changing myself or beliefs for others I don't care. They don't pay my bills or live with me.
This is how I feel about the subject: If someone doesn't like the way I look, then they shouldn't be looking. If someone doesn't like the way I sound, then don't listen, and if you just don't like me, then go away. What others think of me is not my problem, but there's. I am a good person, and worth liking, so if they can't see that, then it is their problem, not mine.
Only if you want to be accepted by them. If you don't care, then why worry? I learned a long time ago the I can't please everyone, and why would I even care what strangers think? My sister used to say I should wear lipstick, because "What will people think?" When I asked her what people she was talking about she said it was the people in the mall or grocery store. Why on earth would I care about some stranger who I will never see again?
I care what my family and friends think, but I don't exactly worry about it. I try to stay presentable, within reason.
Worry never added one second to your life, it can adversely affect your longevity, however. I am not overly concerned about what someone I only vaguely know thinks about me. I do not care what a stranger thinks about me at all. Someone else's opinion of me does not have to become my reality. I do not want to hurt or offend or embarrass the people I care about, so in that regard, I do care what certain people think of me. So, in some instances, I care very much, in some I care but am not going to obsess about it and in others, I care not at all...it depends on who they are and how they impact my life.
