While it is normal human behavior to adapt our behaviors to certain situations, sometimes we can become so caught up in what people think of us that we literally "lose ourselves."
We do what we think is right, not because we think that it is right, but that others do. It's like we haven't grown out of our teenage years of peer pressure. Today, we might not smoke to keep in with the "in-crowd" but we still conform in numerous ways and worse, we worry. We constantly worry about what other people are thinking about us. We find our lives are governed by what we imagine other people believe about us. And so we find ourselves with a huge raft of fears: Fear of being rejected, fear of being thought a failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of being inferior to others, fear of being "dumb." This is just the tip of the iceberg. First, we need to recognize that most of the people we know don't really think about us much at all. Like the old sayings, they really are too busy thinking about themselves and their own lives to be making conclusions about ours. In fact, many of them are doing just what the chronic worrier does: Worrying about what others are thinking about them!
We do what we think is right, not because we think that it is right, but that others do. It's like we haven't grown out of our teenage years of peer pressure. Today, we might not smoke to keep in with the "in-crowd" but we still conform in numerous ways and worse, we worry. We constantly worry about what other people are thinking about us. We find our lives are governed by what we imagine other people believe about us. And so we find ourselves with a huge raft of fears: Fear of being rejected, fear of being thought a failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of being inferior to others, fear of being "dumb." This is just the tip of the iceberg. First, we need to recognize that most of the people we know don't really think about us much at all. Like the old sayings, they really are too busy thinking about themselves and their own lives to be making conclusions about ours. In fact, many of them are doing just what the chronic worrier does: Worrying about what others are thinking about them!