What is the best way to deal with unreasonable neighbours without making enemies?


2 Answers

Noah Green Profile
Noah Green answered

Lily, her are some ways to deal with neighbors that simply enjoy ruining your day.

  • Be polite, but don't let yourself get stepped on. Invite them over for dinner and talk things out. Tell them how you feel, and how you'd like for things to work out.
  • The best way to show someone you're at ease with them, is to display unconditional love towards them. Be there for them whenever they need something, whether it be advice or a weed eater. At the same time, be sure to set boundaries, that way they don't have much wiggle room to hurt you.
  • If you both have kids, use a "play date" as an excuse to sit down, talk, and settle some differences.
Unreasonable neighbors will ALWAYS be there. Over time, I believe with the good response, you can change that.

3 People thanked the writer.
Lily Bradic
Lily Bradic commented
Thanks, Noah. Great advice. It's always interesting to see how other people deal with things. I believe you're right in that being polite is the best way to deal with such situations.

I think the old man downstairs is actually feeling bad for being so rude (the first thing he did was tell us that we mustn't, under any circumstances, flush the toilet after midnight) and has been reasonably polite since then. We haven't flushed the toilet after midnight yet though, haha!
Noah Green
Noah Green commented
Haha! Sounds like quite the compromise!! LOL
Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

The best way always has been mind your own business and if that doesn't work, then a tall privacy fence otherwise dealing with neighbors just comes with the territory and showdowns are inevitable but best not to start a confrontation. Just remember its a fact of life that no one will ever be able to please everyone so don't even try. But there always comes a time when neighbors need someone so be patient.  Good luck

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Yo Kass
Yo Kass commented
Actually, this is a problem I've struggled with fairly recently!

We live in a semi-detached house, and the couple who live next door that share a wall with us complained that our daughter was crying too much. She must have been around 8-9 months old at the time of the complaint.

What was really infuriating was that, rather than approach us directly and ask us to try and keep her a little quieter at night (which if they've ever had a baby, they'd know is harder said then done!) - but instead, they went straight to the local authority!

Anyway, nothing ever came of the complaint - but a few months later, they adopt a pair of beagles. They yelp and jump about all night, they often howl loudly when my daughter is sleeping, and it really makes me mad that they had the nerve to complain about us - and then act as if nothing's wrong with their dogs keeping us awake all night.

I'm not usually one to kick up a fuss (and excuse the rant under your excellent answer), but I'm not sure what to do about this situation.
Yo Kass
Yo Kass commented
By nature, I let things slide very easily - I'm often accused of being too laid back even. But injustices like this really rile me up!

On one hand, I think I should call animal welfare or something, and report that their dogs sound like they're not being looked after and are in distress (which I'm not 100% sure is the case, but they do make a lot of noise).

The second option would just be to throw a brick through their window or something like that. Which one should I choose?
Yo Kass
Yo Kass commented
***disclaimer*** The damage to their property part was just a joke btw! I would never harm them or their property. Or their dogs.

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